Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Looking Inside

The title came--but that's about the only words right now.

I feel like I have so little to give...I am trying so hard to keep being who I've been for so long and I just can't do it. I'm trying to create some space, some framework, some sanity.

I am so grateful that my pregnancy has physically been so easy. If I had to deal with physical stuff too, I think I'd explode. Is there such a thing as pre-partum depression? Maybe that's just good old regular depression...and I've gotten really good at pushing through, trying to hide it, trying to keep giving to everyone and I can't do it.

I can barely get through 'tasks;' I don't have time for relationships too--especially one that took so much work before too.

Okay--I'm getting nowhere now except tears and I don't have time for them right now. It's Wednesday after all--confirmation lesson to set up teach, youth evening to pysch up for, in addition to the to-do list that's a mile long here, let alone the personal one.

I don't want solutions or attemps to fix...but if you read, I'd appreciate knowing I'm not alone.

I've got to make some time to look inside.

5 comments:

Jessica said...

Hey kid... you don't have to keep being everything you've been, in all the same ways. You're taking on big new responsibilities and it's a good time to re-prioritize and just take some time to figure out what you need. That's totally OK.

It sounds like you're having a really hard time. It seems like it's been that way for a couple months now... give me a call if you want to talk, OK??

more cows than people said...

(((silent)))

i'm here. i'm thinking of you. i'm sending love. no advice, just love.

and i'm happy to listen if you want to talk too. e-mall me for a phone number.

Linda said...

Silent- I'm finding your blog for the first time; coming here after your comment on my blog day before yesterday.

I'm sorry this is a hard time for you right now. I'm new, but I'm willing to commit to reading and holding you in my thoughts and prayers.

Songbird said...

I'm here, too, reading and encouraging you to do what you need for yourself.

jadedjabber said...

On recently found your blog but I resonate with much of what you say. You are in my prayers.