QRSTUVWXY and Z

I haven't posted for a month, but I just can't let this thing go. I feel like I need to complete this before I post anything else...despite having had other things that would mostly likely develop into much more interesting posts. But for my sake...completing an alphabet of gratitude!

Q

• Quilts ~ both for warmth and beauty
• Quiet moments ~ quiet moments in my heart are treasured more so than actual volume, though I do appreciate times of actual quiet too

R

• Reading ~ don't do as much as I'd like right now

S

• Sunshine ~ I sometimes wonder if I really do suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. I need sunshine!

T

• Texting ~ a new way for my hubby and I to communicate

U

• Umbrellas? ~ really, all I can think of this moment that begins with u

V

• VeggieTales ~ Baby Girl LOVES Bob the Tomato--these are a huge help in the morning when I must get ready and need to know she's occupied while I shower

W

• Winter memories ~ I hate cold and mostly hate winter, but winter memories from my childhood are some of my favorite.

X

• xylophone ~ Baby Girl loves to play hers

Y

• You ~ I know I don't write often anymore, if I ever did, but it's nice to know someone might actually read this. (And I know there are a few of you who do at least occasionally.)

Z

• Zippers ~ crazy thing to be grateful for I know, but I prefer zippers to buttons on sweaters--they feel warmer somehow in the midst of winter

Okay--done--perhaps others will come to me and I'll add them. Hopefully instead I will just post more.

JKLMNOP

I really had good intentions of doing this gratitude posting; I did. But I would also find myself tired at the end of the day and without the brain power to put thoughts into words, especially thoughtful words. I also found myself without time throughout the day to post--except while at work while trying to be more efficient so as to have less to do on my 'work-at-home' days and to not feel so overwhelmed. So...this fell away. At the same time, I'm OCD enough that I can't just fully admit it and then let it go...I need to at least make a list of a few things for each letter. So today (or actually composed in weeks)...JKLMNOP



J

• J and J ~ my great-grandparents, though I never knew them, their stories have shaped me, their decisions to leave the 'old country' and come to the US, their lives before and after that move, their daughter my grandma
• Jonquils ~ don't really know how they are different from daffodils, but I love both and I think 'jonquils' is a fun word
• Jury duty ~ can't say I want to do this anytime again soon, but it was definitely an educational experience! I wouldn't mind serving again in the distant future

K

• kisses ~ Baby Girl will kiss pictures, particularly of doggies (or bow-wows as she says), and daddy and her bear and toys...but they are hard-won gifts for me. I think she associates giving me kisses with me going away and so doesn't want to give them...despite that I give her lots of kisses all the time. Yesterday, she would kiss a picture of me, but not me. I don't understand.
• kisses--the Hershey variety, particularly with almonds ~ I posted about these some time ago, maybe I'll get ambitious later and create a link

L

• lists ~ I'm a list maker. They help keep me semi-focused on things that need to be accomplished
• light ~ preferably natural light. I don't care if the house warms up in the afternoon, I want lots of light coming in. I hate the darkness of the winter; it sucks the life out of me. I love how long the light is in the summer. During that time of year, I think I could live near the arctic circle.

M

• music ~ I may not have any natural musical talent, but I love music.
• milk ~ I drank soy until age 5, but quickly developed a love for milk. When I go to my mom's, she always says she had to buy extra milk because her calf is home. Even though I love milk, I should have known something was up when I drank a whole gallon by myself in the 24 hours before Baby Girl was born. This is also probably why producing milk for her was not a challenge for me, at least according to my doctor.

N

• nighttime ~ particularly nights without meetings, the quiet nights when we are home together as a family and I can snuggle and rock Baby Girl to sleep
• newness ~ for right now I think I'm grateful for the little new things because I am so craving bigger newness

O

• order ~ I like 'a place for everything and everything in its place.' I'm learning to let some of that go as I realize that a 16 month old just can't do it. I haven't fully given up on the 38 year old who also lives in my house though.
• once upon a time ~ okay, a stretch, I admit--but stories and those stories that so easily lend themselves to being pulled into and stories that take us away to new places

P

• pens and pencils ~ some particular ones in fact, I love variety in these, of playing with new ones and colors. I do more and more on the computer, but sometimes I just need to physically write.
• peas ~ Baby Girl's current favorite vegetable

Big I, Little i, what begins with I?

Itchy, itchy Ichabod...I, i, I*

Has it really been two weeks? Wow...it's been a crazy few weeks; I started this list in my head two weeks ago...

• internet ~ really, don't know what I'd do without it
• income ~ two steady incomes in fact, incomes not affected by the economic downturn
• ice cream ~ especially chocolate from our particular midwestern grocery store chain...yum
• instructions ~ I like instructions--even if I sometimes choose to ignore them

I guess I'll say that's enough for 'i' and hope that I get back into this blogging habit soon.


*Dr. Seuss

Big H, little h, what begins with H?

Hungry horse, hen in hat...H, h, H*

• House ~ I'm grateful that we have a house, a nice house, probably more house than we need.
• Home ~ But a house isn't the same as a home for me. We have a home, a place where there is love and family and togetherness.
• Home for my words ~ I'm grateful for this blog, for a place to write and how it has helped me connect with others.
• Help ~ It's hard for me to ask for help, but when it's offered in love, I'm grateful.
• Hands ~ When I think about it, it's pretty amazing what hands can do.
• Heat (but not HOT weather) ~ I am usually cold, so I'm grateful for some heat. But I'm not crazy about hot, humid weather. I'm thinking more about winter here and how grateful I am for our wood burner and how toasty warm our house can get.

*Dr. Seuss

Big G, little g, what begins with G?

Goat and goo-goo goggles, G..g..G*

I've been thinking about G for some time and actually have had quite a list in my head for the whole week since I last posted, but I had to make time today. A nerve was hit for me today and I know it shouldn't have been but it was. A woman going through unspeakable grief commented on a blog of hers a feeling she had when a bunch of us started doing this "ABCs" of gratitude thing. It feels fake and insincere to her--my words for how I read her...I own it that is my take on what she wrote. But it hit a nerve because maybe it started somewhat flippantly, but I am choosing to keep doing this because I need to. Writing is something that has always been life-giving and healing to me. And I have been wanting and needing to write, but not having the motivation to begin. Having a reason, a purpose, a silly tool of the alphabet is motivation. I feel stuck right now, and while it's not her unspeakable pain, it's my pain, my heartbreak, my need. And it helps me to focus on the good things, the things I'm grateful for so that I can think beyond the stuck-ness. And so...my list for G--in no particular order....

• Grace ~ on so many levels, mainly God's grace--grace that pours over and fills up and sustains and keeps me going even when I don't feel like it or even necessarily feel it, but also the simple grace extended by others...not minding that it took almost 2 weeks to return a phone call or the thoughtfulness of a door held
• Grief ~ really? especially after the opening paragraph? Yes. My grief may not be as dramatic or horrible as many others have experienced. But when I look at my circle of close friends, most have experienced very little grief. My dad died 22 years ago when I was not quite 10...rarely a day goes by that I don't experience grief. And that's not the only loss I've faced. And while I would gladly trade this grief for the people or situations that are unrepairable, having experienced what I have makes me a better pastor, better able to sit with death and grief and unanswered questions. And I am grateful for that.
• Giggles ~ particularly those of Baby Girl...why is it that baby giggles are so amazing?
• Gratitude ~ I'm grateful that my life is such that I can be grateful.

It seems that I had a much longer list in my head a few days ago when I didn't have the time. Ah, well. So it goes.

*Dr. Seuss

Big F, Little f, what begins with F?

Four fluffy feathers on a Fiffer-feffer-feff.*

• Freezers ~ I'm very grateful for freezers this week. I threw out my back on Monday, so having a frozen ice pack to use on a regular basis was a must. That--and for the quick, easy, frozen food!
• Flexibility ~ Again, back-related. I didn't think I was really flexible, but now that it hurts to bend certain ways, I am grateful for how flexible I am.
• Flexibility, in less physical terms ~ I am grateful for a flexible schedule. Though I must admit, I would be even more grateful if others could appreciate my flexible schedule. But I'm not dwelling on that--I'm being grateful here!
• Fingers ~ cute, sticky, little fingers and the realization of how much they can do now--of course, it's always all about Baby Girl!
• Friends ~ those with whom it's always possible to fall back into easy friendship, even if time has passed
• Freedom ~ can't really put this one into words

*Of course, it's Dr. Seuss.

Big E, Little E, what begins with E?

Ear, egg, elephant...E, e, E*

• Email ~ I have never, ever been a telephone person. I'm so glad to have email ~ especially for work stuff. I'd much rather send the email than make a call when possible.
  
• Electricity ~ I take it for granted, I know. E's a hard letter for me--guess that's why I thought of it.
• Elephants ~ I probably only thought of them because of Dr. Seuss, but they are pretty amazing creatures.
• Eyes and ears ~ do I really need to comment on this one?
  
• Evenings, especially ones with no meetings this time of year ~ I hate winter for lots of reasons, but primarily because it gets dark so early and I tend to have more meetings. I love having it be light after supper, with free time to decide how to spend. These days, it usually involves outside playtime, a bath, bed for baby, then tidying up the house. Sitting with a cool breeze blowing through the house, the house tidy, the sun gradually setting, time to read or blog or just relax, ahh...

*Thanks to Dr. Seuss