I've been thinking a lot about babies today in particular. Within the first hour or so of being awake today, I was informed about the death of a 17 month old in my congregation and decided which new pair of maternity pants I would wear that would be comfortable for a long day today but also look professional.
I've been thinking a lot about babies for a few months now. My baby (my first) is due June 30, 2008. I'm pretty preoccupied by this, which I think is fair and understandable. I've been blessed to feel good--very little morning sickness. Some fatigue, but I'm mostly past the point where I fall asleep if I sit for more than two minutes. At my last three appointments, I've been able to hear the baby's heartbeat--even at the first one when I wasn't supposed to worry if I couldn't because it was so early. I'm not really showing yet...but I'm big enough that my usual pants don't fit comfortably. I happened upon an awesome sale yesterday and purchased 2 pairs of pants and 2 tops for $35. I should be able to wear all 4 pieces of clothing for the rest of my pregnancy--or at least most of it.
Today, I'm really glad I'm not showing much. On Saturday, when we do the visitation and funeral for this precious 17 month old baby who died, I'm not sure that I could handle it--nor would I want them to have to watch their visibly pregnant pastor preside over the funeral of their baby.
This baby has had a difficult 17 months; she was born with multiple birth defects. She's had a feeding tube and been on oxygen her whole life. They have spoken of deafness, but I'm not sure if they knew for sure. She had multiple body casts already this far to help reshape her pelvis. Some of her inner organs were turned. She fell asleep last night and didn't wake up this morning. There is no doubt in my mind that life is better for her today. And I know too she was loved and that the life she lived on this earth meant something. Her family and our church family did what they could to love her and make her short life sweet and wonderful. I know her family is hurting, hurting in a way that I can't fully understand, but can understand more than I could 3 months ago.
I've been thinking about babies today. Mostly though about God's babies and praying that God will hold us all.