Is it bad...

when the person you are visiting in the hospital tells you that you look tired?

Saturday

I hate winter. The darkness depresses me. The cold depresses me. I want to curl up under my covers and read a good book or a magazine. Anything but work. I'd rather clean my house than work. This sermon does not want to come. And then I feel like a horrible, awful person--like I'm not good at anything. And that depresses me and I get even less done.

I'm working at changing some of my habits to be healthier. I'm eating better--relatively. I'm exercising more--relatively. But I haven't figured out how to change the mental habits yet. I'm working at it--finding a way to create a schedule that doesn't put me in a position to feel like a schmuck because I'm writing a sermon on Saturday morning for Saturday night and feeling like it sucks and I suck.

Preparation Friday 5

Sally at Revgals writes:This has been a difficult week for me, the death of a little six year old has overshadowed our advent preparations, and made many of us here in Downham Market look differently at Christmas. With that in mind I ask whether you are the kind of person that likes everything prepared well in advance, are you a last minute crammer, or a bit of a mixture.....Here then is this weeks Friday 5:



1. You have a busy week, pushing out all time for preparing worship/ Sunday School lessons/ being ready for an important meeting ( or whatever equivalent your profession demands)- how do you cope?

Cope? I'm not sure I do. I guess I just do my best to get through it and hope for the best.



2. You have unexpected visitors, and need to provide them with a meal- what do you do?
Take them out somewhere. I'm not much of a cook--even for planned guests. Unexpected visitors definitely warrant going out.


Three discussion topics:
3. Thinking along the lines of this weeks advent theme; repentance is an important but often neglected aspect of advent preparations.....
True--but I don't have the energy to reflect more on that now.

4. Some of the best experiences in life occur when you simply go with the flow.....
Also, probably true--even if it's not my strong suit to go with the flow. I need plans. Once a have a plan A, I'm open to change it, but I need to start with a plan.

5. Details are everything, attention to the small things enables a plan to roll forward smoothly...
I'm a detail person. Always have been. It's the "J" in me. But I'm realistic enough that details aren't all that makes things run smoothly. The big picture is important too.

Bonus if you dare- how well prepared are you for Christmas this year?
This depends on what you mean by prepared. I'm preparing in ways that are meaningful to me--buying the gifts I need to buy, doing the things at church that I need to, and not stressing about the rest. I'm not sending cards--at least not now. I'm not putting up decorations--I know, call me the grinch, but they are more work to me than preparation. Feeling calm and anticipating the joy of Christmas Eve and the week of vacation to follow is much more important to me right now.

I Heard It!

She said I might not be able to hear it and not to worry if I didn't because it's early. But I heard it! And everything looks, sounds, feels normal. Yeah!

June 30, 2008 or so

I can hardly wait. I'm overwhelmed--by anxiety and by excitement.