Motivation

Where did mine go? Even this post has been days in the making--and not because I was too busy the last few days to get to it, but simply because vegging out in front of my TV seemed like a much better option.

My to-do list just seems to get longer with each passing second. Somehow all the "necessary" work gets done--the sermons get written (if on Saturday afternoon for a 5 p.m. service), the Bible School openings get prepared (if on the drive into church), the shut-ins I'm to visit this month get visited (if on the 31st), and so on. At home, the lawn eventually gets mowed (though the piles of raked up grass have sat for 3 days--blame the heat wave!), the dishes get placed in the dishwasher (at least I put water in them when I put them in the sink!), the plants get watered (at least the one I'm most concerned will die), and so on.

But the items on the to-do list of things that I really do want to do suffer.
1. Email friends with whom I haven't spoken for some time
2. Work on paperwork to open myself up for a different call
3. Organize recipes and cookbooks (and actually try to make some things from scratch!)
4. Finally sort through those boxes of stuff that've been sitting for 3 years
5. Read a book from my bookshelf for fun
6. Decorate parts of my house--nothing too drastic, but replacing the curtains I've hated since we moved in would be a good start!
7. Organize all the craft items that I've saved "because I might use it"
8. Work on scrapbooking my life
9. Make a quilt using my college t-shirts
10. Go through my closet and get rid off all the clothes I don't need or wear

I used to think I was internally motivated--that if there was something I wanted to do, I would and could just do it. When did I lose that? When did I start to need someone or something to push me to keep going? Why does bad TV (okay, mostly home and garden and cooking shows) seem so appealing? Why am I so tired? And why do all the things on that list seem like they will take so much more energy than I can muster?