Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween!

Last night was trick-or-treating in my town, so this year's costume (a doctor, complete with scrubs and stethoscope) has been worn and put away leaving me to reflect on some of my past Halloween costumes. I can't remember them all, but I do remember many...a strawberry, a leopard, an M&M, a crash test dummy, an old lady, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Strawberry Shortcake, and Peter Pan. And each has a story--something going on at the time that particularly relates to the costumes. But for today, my favorite is Peter Pan. I wore green tights and one of my dad's button-down shirts with a belt cinching it around my waist. And the hat...jaunty Peter Pan hat with a red feather on the side. Where did this hat come from? I couldn't tell you...but I know that is why I was Peter Pan that year. But even more importantly is the story of the picture in my mind when I think of that costume. The picture that comes to mind is my grandma...the hat on her head tipped sideways, placed there by a joking cousin, the hand holding out a (root) beer, and the great big smile on her face. Family...home...coziness...love, that's the stuff of Halloween that I hold on to.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Things About Me, Part II

11. I am horrible at small talk.
12. I tend to take care of other people first.
13. I have a few irrational fears (though not of the number 13).
14. Most days, my favorite thing to do would be curl up under a soft, cozy blanket and read a good book.
15. I would rather live in a small town than a big city.
16. I have high expectations for people, sometimes way too high.
17. I love TiVo.
18. I love hearing and telling stories of my family, particularly my great-grandparents' stories of coming to the United States.
19. I enjoy watching home decorating shows, but can't say I've implemented anything into my own home.
20. I despise cleaning the bathroom.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Things About Me, Part I

1. I've been thinking that I should write "100 Things About Me" since my first entry.
2. I'm not sure I'll ever come up with 100 things about me to say.
3. It really annoys me that I didn't blog in September because now on the blog archive list, September doesn't appear.
4. I've taken various forms of the Myers-Briggs test numerous times since high school and always come out an ISFJ.
5. I'm using this post to procrastinate doing things that are much more important.
6. I have never had a pet (unless you count the three fish I picked out that lived at our house for two weeks before my husband took the fish tank to school and promptly killed two of them).
7. I miss being a student.
8. I want to rearrange my office, but this is really the only way all the furniture fits.
9. I want one room in my house that I don't have to share.
10. I have lost many loved ones, but lately I miss my grandma the most.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Control

I admit it, I like being in control. I like order and structure, but I like to create it. And lately, it's felt like things are out of my control. There is order and structure and deadlines and none of these things are ones that I got to choose. In my faith journey, I resonate with Carrie Underwood's debut single, "Jesus Take the Wheel." Maybe it's because of when it came out, right after I was in a serious car accident myself. The words of the chorus reflect a prayer I want to say:

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel


But...as much as I want Jesus to be in control of my life; as much as I believe that God is in control, I also believe in free will. I believe that God made us people who can and do make choices and decisions about our lives. So God is not in control to the point of scheduling this meeting or that gathering or my husband's football game. I feel like I should have some control over some of them...and lately, it feels like I haven't had any control over any of them. And that makes me cranky and overwhelmed and tired.

But it's starting to level out again. Maybe it's the anticipation of a few days of upcoming vacation, though those may be busy. But I get to be completely in control of the schedule those days. (Okay--not completely, there will be other people's schedules to coordinate with--husband, in-laws, friends.) But they won't be work days! I will be away from the place that requires me to be "on;" I'll be in places where I can just "be."